No Longer A Victim

This site contains some very disturbing information. This is your only warning.

I have set this site up so the oldest entry is at the top of the page.

This is a retelling of my experiences. My timelines are not always correct. I do not always remember the years correctly.

As I can no longer edit the dates to make this post go in reverse chronological order I will no longer be adding posts here. Please check my other blog for any further postings.

Location: Fredericton, New Brunswick, Canada

I have been walking a long and winding path. This is my healing path. I must say there were some points on the path where the end could not be imagined. I hurt all over and wanted to just stop and rest. I have not stopped. I have learned to rest while moving forward. I can not imagine the end of my path now. I do not want to imagine it anymore. The end of my path will be the end of my existence on this planet. I have learned to smile and I am enjoying life more now. The struggle pays off eventually.

Wednesday, July 13, 2005

Overcomming Addictions

When I was six years of age the teenage babysitters thought it would be cute to see me smoke. So everytime they came over I got to have a cigarette with them. They were there for at least one day a week. By the time I was eleven I was smoking a pack a week. By fourteen I was upto a pack a day. I stayed at a pack a day until I was 32.

The earliest photo of me is of me holding a beer bottle up to my mouth and drinking. I was in diapers and could not stand with out the aid of the end table. This is something that did not stop for a long time. There was a period of time when I stayed intoxicated for about two years. It was when I was about fifteen to seventeen years of age. I was living in a tent in a trailer park at the time. I would wake at five am and grab a six pack of beer and head off to the showers. When the shower was over I would grab a case of beer and head to work. The case of beer would last until the beer store would open at eleven am. I would head to the beer store and get more beer. I would drink until one am then I would sleep for four hours. Then it would all start over again. I have stopped drinking beer. I have the odd glass of wine with dinner on special occasions now.

I also had a cocaine addiction while I worked as a bouncer in the bars. This lasted for three months. I at that time decided that sleep and sanity were worth more than the feelings that the drug brought. I have broken two of the three habits with nothing more than will power. The smoking is the only one I could not kick without help. I used zyban to help me kick that one.


Blogger Free at Last! said...

Give thanks to God you never got into heroin or morphine,those are a bitch,withdrawl can actually kill you.
I give God the credit for me being clean,but that doesn't mean I turned down the Methadone!without it and it's painkiller aspects,I could not have made it.38 years of additions(raped at 13,then he bought me a bottle!)The only years I did not spend in bars where the ones I spent behind bars.Still smoking though damn it.Email me k?

12:52 p.m.  
Blogger Paul Zwiebel said...

Chantix is a name to reckon with in the quit smoking drug category in a rather short period of time. After Zyban was introduced some ten years ago as an anti smoking drug, no drugs have been approved so far, till Chantix hit the headlines. Chantix has been introduced at a perfectly right time, when the figures and statistics of nicotine (smoking) related deaths as per the WHO reports have alarmed the medical world.

1:54 a.m.  

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