No Longer A Victim

This site contains some very disturbing information. This is your only warning.

I have set this site up so the oldest entry is at the top of the page.

This is a retelling of my experiences. My timelines are not always correct. I do not always remember the years correctly.

As I can no longer edit the dates to make this post go in reverse chronological order I will no longer be adding posts here. Please check my other blog for any further postings.

Location: Fredericton, New Brunswick, Canada

I have been walking a long and winding path. This is my healing path. I must say there were some points on the path where the end could not be imagined. I hurt all over and wanted to just stop and rest. I have not stopped. I have learned to rest while moving forward. I can not imagine the end of my path now. I do not want to imagine it anymore. The end of my path will be the end of my existence on this planet. I have learned to smile and I am enjoying life more now. The struggle pays off eventually.

Saturday, July 09, 2005


Think of monkey bars overhead. Now these monkey bars are staggered, starting with ones very close to the ground and moving upwards as you progress forward and down as you move backward. These monkey bars are very wide and there are multiple sidewalks below them. Some of the sidewalks are stationary, some are mobile like conveyor belts.

Healthy expectations are ones that are exercised regularly. They are also the ones where the person is shown a stationary sidewalk and taught to find a bar that could be reached comfortably while standing flat footed. They are then taught that its ok to go one or two bars ahead so that they have a bit of a reach. It is good to have dreams and aspirations that are a bit of a reach. It makes you that much more appreciative when you acquire them. The more gutsy of us will go three or four bars away. The risk of failure and injury is higher but the payoff is also better, normally.

Now the unhealthy expectations are the ones where you are placed on a conveyor belt and told to reach for bars that either below you or so far overhead that they are imperceptible.

How we are put on conveyor belts varies in many ways. There is a commonality though, it is all abuse. Being constantly told that you are stupid, or that you will never amount to anything are ways of setting you upon a conveyor belt and telling you to reach for bars that are below you. There is also the whats the matter with you, and the come on you can do better than that scenarios that set you up for the impossibly high bars on the forward moving conveyor belt.

Issac Newton, Albert Einstein, and many others may have grasped those bars way overhead. They did not do it from infancy however. They progressed to them, they worked hard to reach them and they did it over time.

If you feel that you can not reach your expectations perhaps you need to step off the moving sidewalk and come back a bit. Careful though as you walk back you just might hit your head on some of the bars, not expecting them to be where they are. Sometimes we set our sites on what other people believe and not on what we are capable of. This sets us up for not seeing our real potential and when you hit your head do not be so upset with the bump, be more impressed with how much further ahead you are then you expected.


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