No Longer A Victim

This site contains some very disturbing information. This is your only warning.

I have set this site up so the oldest entry is at the top of the page.

This is a retelling of my experiences. My timelines are not always correct. I do not always remember the years correctly.

As I can no longer edit the dates to make this post go in reverse chronological order I will no longer be adding posts here. Please check my other blog for any further postings.

Location: Fredericton, New Brunswick, Canada

I have been walking a long and winding path. This is my healing path. I must say there were some points on the path where the end could not be imagined. I hurt all over and wanted to just stop and rest. I have not stopped. I have learned to rest while moving forward. I can not imagine the end of my path now. I do not want to imagine it anymore. The end of my path will be the end of my existence on this planet. I have learned to smile and I am enjoying life more now. The struggle pays off eventually.

Monday, July 11, 2005

Letter to my abusers

To the many different men out there that enjoyed my person,

First off let me state this very clearly, most of you abused me when I was twelve years old, just before my thirteenth birthday. Now I hope that sinks in for some of you. I did not wish you to sodomize me, perform oral sex on me, have me perform oral sex on you, be masterbated by or with by any of you. You are and were suppose to be adults. I do not know how any adult could do any of those things to someone so young.

Then there is the one person who after I told my tale to took advantage of it. I was just over sixteen and you used the fact that I had been abused by men and pretty much abandoned by my father to take advantage of me. Bravo to you. You are a big man arent you.

Well I am silent no longer.

I have been sexually abused by many men. I have made a report to the authorities about the first group of men. The last man I have not reported as of yet. I think I shall let the local authorities know of his sexual prefferences. Preying on young boys is going to become a very difficult thing to do, you son of a bitch.

I would like all of you to know that you have all affected my life in many many ways. Some of which are as follows; I do not know what a healthy sex life is. I have never know of this. I have always been afraid to allow anyone close enough to get there. When I have tried to overcome this fear I find that I am afraid of becoming like you. I fight constantly with myself over this. For a long long long time I though I was gay. Not because I had a sexual attraction to men, I have never had that, but because of what you all did to me. I figured that I had to be gay because grown men used me like I was. Great reason to think that isnt it. I spent years tormenting myself and abusing my body because of what you all did to me. I am not proud of the things I did. I did them because I knew no other way.

Well I am no longer abusing myself and I am happily married now. My wife and step daughter are my salvation and my greatest supporters. You all have tormented me for years and years and will probably continue to do so for a while longer. However I am taking back my life and I am going to heal from the damage you did. So big tough guys, you are not so tough now after all are you.

May you all die a slow painful death and my the only things that help decompose you do so before death takes you from your suffering.



Anonymous Anonymous said...

i am so sorry that you had to wait so long to , no to be silent any more , however there is a law that you can still prosacute your predetors , you need to check into to and let them all go to jail and give them the sam treatment that they took from you, My prayers are with you and your family

2:27 a.m.  

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